


A Body Of Stardust

by BeMyReverie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Blowjobs, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel's Blue Tie, Castiel's Hand Print, Castiel's Soft Lips, Comfort, Comforting Castiel (Supernatural), Crying Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester's Freckles, Destiel - Freeform, Drinking, Gay Sex, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Sex, Hair-pulling, Hurt Dean Winchester, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's for a good cause, Love Bites, Love Confessions, Loving Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Mirror Sex, Other, Praise Kink, Pure, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Shy Dean Winchester, Soft sex, Sweet, Their Love Is So, Too many feels, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Upset Dean Winchester, Why do I do this, ahhhh, but not really, compliments, light arguing, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 17:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20642612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeMyReverie/pseuds/BeMyReverie
Summary: Dean is struggling with his self-esteem and is berating himself for many reasons, but one of the reasons is because he thinks he has too many freckles. Castiel refuses to let Dean think that about himself. Refuses to let him think anything bad about himself.Castiel shows Dean just how perfect him and his freckles are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter will be rough. There's going to be most of the angst and sadness during this one. Still some softness though.

Dean's harsh gaze stared straight into the reflective surface, glaring at the sight of himself. His hands clenched the corner of the sink so harshly he could feel the indents forming, but he refused to pull away. His eyes move over himself in the mirror, his nose scrunching in distaste at the sight of his freckled skin. He hated them; he hated himself. To him, the freckles were nothing more than annoying mistakes that littered his skin and made him flawed. He was already flawed, the freckles just made him feel even more flawed. He always noticed how slightly off centered his nose was, how many lines he had around his eyes, how tired he was, how reckless he could be, but he could live with those things because he always had. The freckles just started to show up over time and that's what he couldn't stand.

He was blinking rapidly now, eyes watering from how hard he was staring, he probably forgot to blink; maybe his emotions were getting to him as well. He swallows thickly, squeezing his eyes tight now. "Gotta get a drink," He mutters to himself, pushing off the counter and walking out of the bathroom to head towards the kitchen. He wasn't worried about Sam giving him a lecture about how alcohol is a stupid choice at 11 in the morning; it's five'o'clock somewhere. 

He grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey from the cupboard and didn't bother grabbing a glass as he pops off the lid and takes the burning liquid down his throat quickly. He didn't notice that with a few gulps half the bottle was gone. He didn't consciously notice when he started to scratch the space between his pinkie and his ring finger harshly; a space where dark red marks were already there from the recent past. He kept itching the place on his skin as he walked into the main area, looking around, but not focusing. He didn't hear the door open, he didn't hear the footsteps; he most certainly didn't hear his name being whispered by a blue-eyed angel who just wanted to hold the eldest Winchester close forever. 

Dean blinked quickly into realization that someone was there when a hand went on his shoulder and he tensed, spinning around to meet the gaze. "Cas?" He breathes out, confused and still trying to fully reach his normal functioning self again. 

Castiel was there, in all his angel glory. His trench-coat around him, his tie twisted in a way that usually irked Dean, but whenever he fixed it, it somehow got tangled again. Castiel was searching his gaze though, ocean blue boring into forest green and then Castiel's gaze dropped down to Dean's fingers which were still twitching to itch again. "Dean," The male rumbled, looking at him with concern, gently pulling Dean's hands away from each other and resting one of his hands in each of his own. 

Dean didn't respond, what was he supposed to say? 'Hey, sorry I'm close to tears in the bunker by myself, just realized that I hate my freckles because they look stupid?' It didn't sound right. He wasn't doing anything wrong; he wasn't even drunk. He was willingly standing there in the middle of the room, just thinking, but that didn't sound right either. So he just stays quiet, looking up at the angel from their joined hands, blinking slowly; taking in the tug down of Castiel's lips, the pull between his eyebrows, and the clouded worry in his gaze. Dean pulls his gaze away, but Castiel clears his throat and Dean moves to look at him again. "Talk to me," Castiel whispers softly, the gentle force of his words hit Dean in the face. 

Dean blinks for a moment, trying to come up with some sort of lie, but his emotions take control before the Winchester side of him can. His eyes well up with tears and he's not exactly sure what's going on, but words spill from his mouth without his permission. Words he never wanted anyone to hear. "Why can't I be good enough? I can't do anything right. I can't talk how people want me to talk. I can't act how people want me to act. I can't even stand to be around me. Then I noticed the stupid friggin' freckles all over my body and I just- I hate them. It's like someone took mud and splattered it all over me, but they won't go away. I just wanna have some sort of confidence, but I can't, my body was all that I was semi proud of and now I can't, I hate it. I hate me." Sometime through that rant of mumbled and jumbled feelings, Dean's tears had actually started and when he realized it made him feel more ridiculous; he tries to pull away, to turn his head, to avoid all of Castiel's reactions or words. 

Castiel's _judgement of him. _

Dean's trying to pull his hands out of Cas' grip, but if anything, Cas' grip grows tighter and seconds later Dean is smashed against his chest with arms tightening around his body. Dean could just notice that Cas' hand was playing with his hair and Cas' lips were pressed gently against his forehead. He doesn't really understand what's going on, and the confusion makes his tears stop and his head cloud with some sort of curiosity. Castiel had pulled his face away to look into Dean's soul. "Let me take care of you, Dean." Castiel murmurs between them, letting the words hang there for a moment. 

Dean's eyebrows pull together, unsure. "What-" He starts, but was interrupted by Cas' lips gently pressing against his, the older male's hands going from holding Dean close, to keeping him still by holding his sides of his face. 

Dean wasn't sure what to think, he wasn't thinking at all. He was becoming crazy, his mind hated him and he was dreaming. Or having a nightmare. One where Castiel is there and then he changes his mind and leaves Dean all alone, _like he should be. _Despite the negative thoughts and the bothersome idea of that happening, Dean kisses back gently, his bottom lip still quivering from his tears. Castiel hushes him gently and kisses him a bit more deeply, as if reassuring Dean that he's there. That he's _real._ And for the moment? Dean believed it. 

Castiel pulled his lips away, but kept his touch on Dean, kept him close. "Let me take care of you," he repeats softly, "I want to show you that you are amazing, Dean Winchester. I want to show you how to love yourself how I love you." He says gently, letting his lips brush Dean's; reveling in the fact that Dean's eyes fluttered and his face flushed with every touch of their mouths.

Dean's eyes reluctantly open to look at Castiel, lips parted in shock, something the angel takes soft advantage of, gently kissing him again, he still hears the 'you love me?' that Dean breathes out. Well, he feels it more than hears it, but he understands nonetheless. He pulls away and gives Dean a shy gaze of his own, a slight nod, then tilts his head, waiting for the hunter's answer. When Dean's flushes and he ducks his head into a yes, Castiel pulls him gently to one of the bedrooms. Dean's room more specifically. 

He takes a moment to look at how little belongings Dean has. Sure, he has weapons, a few lore books, but nothing is really 'Dean'. A few photos on the nightstand of Team Free Will makes Castiel smile, the empty and spilt bottles of liquor do not. He doesn't bring them up right now, that would be the opposite of what Castiel wants to do to help Dean. Instead, he looks at Dean, smiling. "Lay on your back on your bed, Dean." He demands softly, the green eyed male listens quickly. 

Castiel moves to stand by the head of the bed, where he can look down at Dean's face, his tears were drying, but Castiel could still see the pain and sorrow in them. Right now, it was his mission to make Dean feel loved and valued. To make him feel _good._ "I want to do so many things to you, Dean," Castiel says to the male, running a hand through his soft brown hair, smiling when Dean lets out a soft purring sound. 

"Will you let me, Dean? Will you let me love you and make you feel good?" He questions, tightening his grip in Dean's hair and watching as Dean's eyes flutter closed at the slight tug. 

He smiles brighter when Dean gives the answer he wants to hear, the answer that will allow him to praise the male. 

"_Yes."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel shows Dean how much he truly loves him, in less than wholesome ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: S M U T, self-esteem issues, soft times.  
Enjoy.

_"Yes."_

Castiel goes right to tracing along Dean's side slightly, keeping his other hand in his hair; Dean leaned into the touch, shuddering, touch deprived it felt like. Dean's eyes fluttered closed at the motion of Cas running his fingers through Dean's hair, but his eyes open quickly went he realizes that Cas is leaning over him now. Trench-coat was removed, leaving on everything else. The black blazer hugged his shoulders and made them look more broad, it also showed just how much the fabric hugged the angel's body. Castiel tilts Dean's chin to make him meet his eyes. "We are not focusing on me right now, Dean, I want to focus on you. All. Of. You." He was kissing his lips now, gentle, but urging. 

Castiel pulled away slightly, a knee between Dean's thighs, practically pressing up against his crotch. "Let's start with your torso." He murmurs, hands sliding under Dean's shirt, feeling across his lower stomach, over his pecs, to his shoulders; pushing the fabric up with his movements and tossing the fabric over Dean's head quickly after that. Castiel's hands rub slowly along his sides and along his lower stomach. "You're _gorgeous."_ Castiel whispers, watching the red flush travel from the tips to Dean's ears and down his neck; he watches Dean shake his head after a second. 

"No, I'm not. I-I have pudge around my stomach and I used to be...well... I had clear skin... Now, I just- The damn freckles showed up and got worse as I got older. It's like all my mistakes decided to taint me; not only mentally, but physically too... I hate it. I want to forget what I've done and what I look like-" Dean was starting to go deeper into self-hatred and Castiel gets upset at himself, for listening to his words so long and staying silent.

Dean's eyes were shut, tight; refusing to open them for emotional reasons and the fact, he was terrified if he opened them, Castiel would leave because he had too much damn baggage. Dean wouldn't blame Castiel though, he'd blame himself for being a little bitch about everything. Instead, he feels Cas' hand gently hold his jaw. "Dean," He whispers softly, sounding just as heartbroken as Dean felt. 

When Dean doesn't respond, Castiel's hands gently move over him. "Your freckles give you character," Dean scoffs, but Castiel keeps going "I don't see them as your mistakes, I see them as all your wins." He says, keeping his voice soft, but confident in what he was saying.

Dean feels Cas' hand leave his face and instead trace over Dean's shoulder where an annoying amount of freckles were placed. "I see these ones as all the times you placed others before yourself," Castiel presses his lips gently to where his thumb was to kiss over his shoulder, "All the times you cared for people, in general." He kisses across Dean's collarbone to his other shoulder. "How many times you saved people, throwing yourself in danger, even if it was reckless." He presses his lips slowly to Dean's skin, savoring the moment where Dean started to relax a bit from under him. 

"You, Dean Winchester, are _perfect._ Whether you believe it or not, no one is as selfless, strong, brave, grounded as you are." When Dean parts his lips to argue, Castiel kisses him softly, but firm. 

"Your soul is bright and everyone makes mistakes, Dean, but God did not make any mistakes when he made you." He says against his lips, breathing in the soft sound Dean let out when his hands started to trace his skin again.

Dean's eyes were opened now, watching Castiel, who only looked back at him with pure adoration. Dean didn't fully believe that the look was real, but for now, he'd focus on the angel looming over him, feeding him compliments, even if he was having a hard time swallowing them. Castiel seems to take his silence as an okay and he kisses his chest now, whispering praise that gave Dean goosebumps. Dean's cheeks flushed when Cas' fingertips slid under the fabric around his waist, taking off the jeans first, then playing with the waistband of his underwear; looking at Dean's eyes, which were currently completely giving, allowing himself to be vulnerable.

Castiel tugs the fabric down his legs. "I know you don't love your bowlegs, but I think that they make your walk so cute, you look like a cowboy when you walk." Castiel watched as Dean's eyes brightened at the comparison and his length took interest in the words as well. 

_Something for another day._

Castiel's hands slid along his thighs, keeping his gaze on Dean's face, watching his reactions as he slowly licks along his length, he happily listens to the hitched breath Dean gives. He gives alight smile, not wasting time and taking him into his mouth, all the way. Having no gag reflex had finally come in handy for the angel. Dean's sounds got louder, moaning and squirming against the bedding. Castiel pulled off for a moment, stroking him gently so he stayed stimulated. "You should be very proud of this_ package_, Dean." He murmurs, hearing a soft groan leave Dean's mouth again, he switches to take him in his mouth again.

Dean hadn't lasted long and had released into Castiel's mouth with a groan and his hands tightened around the sheets. He was panting. Castiel moved back up his body and he looked at Dean as he sucked a mark right into his freckled shoulder, then into his collarbone, taking in the shaky moan he gave. He blew on the mark when it was dark enough. "I need you." Dean says softly, the few words he's said.

He's allowing himself to be even more vulnerable with Castiel, but in a very different way. He's allowing Castiel to show him just how much he loves him. Which he will.

Castiel is careful to prep Dean with his fingers, but smiles softly when Dean moans his name with need, but not just a sex need, a need like he wouldn't live without Castiel. Something that made Castiel want to never let him go out into the unforgiving world ever again. But Dean Winchester was too stubborn and independent to allow the angel to do that. So this worked, being with him, with nothing between them, seeing as Castiel had gotten rid of his layers and watched with pleasure as Dean's eyes darkened to a murky everest green. 

But before he allowed himself to indulge in Dean's body more, he pulled away and smiled softly when Dean let out a confused sound.

"Just a second, sweetheart, I want to try something." He says and uses some angel mojo to put a mirror against a wall, watching Dean's expression mix into curiosity and cautiousness; he didn't understand, so Castiel was happy to fill him in.

"I want you to see yourself, I want to see how well you react to what's going to be happening. How amazing you look when you're so vulnerable and perfect for me. A perfect and good boy." Castiel says, watching as Dean shudders at what he says.

Dean nods slowly in consent and Castiel moves Dean to face the mirror, on his hands and knees, watching as Dean's cheeks flame a red as Castiel moves behind him and pushes into him gently, leaning slightly over him. Castiel's chest to Dean's back. Castiel watches as Dean does a full body shudder when he's bottomed out, he was listening to the soft voice crack Dean had when he said Castiel's name. Castiel couldn't leave the needy Winchester unsatisfied or waiting for too long, so he starts to move out of him and back in. Dean's back arched more when he did it and he goes to bury his face into his arms and the blankets, which Castiel stops with a grip in his hair, tugging until Dean's eyes meet his through the mirror.

Dean can see the facial expressions Castiel makes as he thrusts shallowly into Dean, being gentle and careful for the time being. Dean can see Castiel's fingers flex as they keep their tight grip in his hair, the quick rise and fall of Castiel's chiseled chest as he pants and moans, which makes Dean shudder down to the bone. He ca see the marks that Castiel left along his shoulder and he realizes that he likes the mouth shaped bruise on his shoulder. He didn't notice that he didn't even think about the freckles crossing his skin, he just saw how Castiel treated him. Like he was enough.

Dean catches Castiel's stare in the mirror and Castiel gives a sly smile towards him and wraps an arm around Dean's waist and pulls him into his lap. Dean is _riding_ him now and he can't help but admit that it feels friggin awesome from this angle. His head falls back against Castiel's shoulder and he moans loudly, one of his hands going over Cas' hand that was on his waist. 

Dean's gaze stares into his reflective gaze and he looks at Cas instead, watching as the angel leaned his head down to kiss along his neck and create more love bites, tugging his hair to move his head back for more space. Dean moaned his name and shifts his hips into Castiel's, grinding down until he feels his orgasm right around the corner. He tries to make a sound of warning, but all that comes out is another whimpered pant of need, watching as Castiel smiled against his skin and the hand that's not currently trapped between Dean's grip and his chest, went and rested right over the hand-print Cas left all that time ago. Dean's back arched away from Castiel's chest as he finished so hard that he saw stars for a moment. A galaxy. He could feel Castiel finishing inside of him, but he didn't mind.

Castiel lays them both down and kissing along Dean's cheeks and nose where the freckle game is strong. "Dean Winchester, you are a body of stardust. All the freckles add to your natural beauty. Space is gorgeous, but it's even more amazing when the stars pull together to become the final touch." He murmurs softly, Dean almost doesn't hear it.

"God wanted you to be a living embodiment of stars." He kisses Dean after those words and smiles as the male allows himself to sink into the kiss and stay close. 

"I never got to say it earlier..." Dean murmurs to Cas and Castiel tilts his head to look into Dean's sleepy gaze. 

"_I love you too."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First multiple chapter fanfiction on this site: Completed.  
I hope you enjoyed the mess that was this book.  
Soft reminder: I thrive off comments.

**Author's Note:**

> Rough chapter, but I hope y'all didn't hate it. I thrive off comments. Love y'all.


End file.
